Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts drabbles
by aisuru Aki
Summary: Drabbles based on things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. Mostly centered around the Marauders time but some will be from different eras. In no order.T to be safe
1. Chapter 1

Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts

**Summary: Drabbles based on things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. Mostly centered around the Marauders time but some will be from different eras. In no order.**

**Warning: Crack. Pure Crack. Some ooc's. no definite pairing unless your mind wants to perceive it as such. Un-beta'd**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the rules list.**

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball.

Remus J. Lupin nervously straitened his tie. James, Lily, and Peter sat beside him as they all waited for the last member of their group to arrive. Yule ball had already started yet Sirius was no where to be seen.

"James! If your hand goes up any higher, I'll shove it up your arse! I swear I will!" Lily screeched as she jumped up from the common room chair.

"But Lily-flower-" And thus, James and Lily began to bicker. Peter sat off to the side, nibbling on a treacle tart he had stolen from the kitchens earlier. Other than them, the Common room was deserted. Sirius had gone to pick up his date three hours prior and had not returned. A date, Remus noted, that was absolutely last minute. In fact, Sirius had not mentioned anything about a date until they were all ready to go to the ball. With a "Wait for us!" The black haired heir had rushed out of the common room and had not returned since.

"Guys" Peter squeaked. Lily and James stopped bickering and the three gave the rat animagus their attention. "It's been three hours. Sirius probably forgot about us. We should go and enjoy ourselves." James nodded in agreement.

"Forget about Padfoot. Let's party!" He declared. Everyone got up to leave.

Hours later, Everyone was more or less enjoying themselves. Lily finally allowed a dance with James, who seemed like he could die happy, Peter stuck firmly to the food table, and Remus watched the mix and mingle from his spot by the wall. Sirius was pushed to the back of everyone's mind.

It was when the tempus charm struck nine, that it happened. Everyone was laughing good naturedly at Dumbledore, who was doing some sort of weird dance with his knees, when a great squelching sound resounded through the great hall. The music came to an abrupt halt and hundreds of curious eyes roamed the hall, searching for where the noise came from. Another squelching sound sounded and everyone trained their eyes on the closed door.

Squelch…. Squelch… Squelch… It seemed to be getting nearer. Some people gulped and looked frightened and a number of teachers and older students had taken out their wands, ready for any possible threat.

Squelch… Squelch… Bang! The doors flew open and standing there, in the doorway, was none other than Sirius Black. He was drenched to the bone and his dress robe stuck to his skin tightly (Making several girls and some guys drool). He supported a puppy dog pout. And in his left hand he clutched a single large white tentacle. Sirius looked around at the shocked faces of his peers and professors until he locked eyes with Remus.

"Moony!" He whined. "You left me! How could you?" Sirius' eyes became impossibly big and tear filled but Remus was immune. Instead, the werewolf kept his eyes on the tentacle in his friend's hand, that he now realized led up and connected to something just out of view.

"Sirius…" Remus whispered. He tried again. "Sirius… What is _that?_" Sirius looked at him confused. Onyx eyes followed amber eyes' line of sight. Upon landing on the tentacle, he beamed happily.

"My date, of course!" Sirius laughed.

"Your-" Sirius nodded and tugged once harshly on the tentacle. With a big SQUELCH that made everyone in the room cringe, more tentacles emerged from behind the door, followed by a long, triangular head. The giant squid appeared beside Sirius, wearing a huge frilly dress and a golden bow on it's head. Apparently, Sirius attempted to put lipstick on where he thought the mouth was and red squiggly lines covered the squid's body. Looking carefully, Remus could now see that each tentacle had red nail polish painted on the ends.

"Mr. Black! Is that- Are you- What in merlin's-!" Professor McGonagall screeched, yet she could not form any complete sentences. James was rolling on the ground, laughing his arse off and peter completely ignored everything.

And Remus. Remus sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose in exasperation, and walked past his insane friend and the squid, up the stairs to go to bed. He skillfully ignored McGonagall's screaches as she yelled at Sirius, and as he flopped into his bed, not bothering to change, he promised himself that he will earn enough money someday to give his dog friend a cure for insanity.

**A/N: I was cleaning some papers and the 101 Things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts came up and as I was reading them, This idea came up so I looked online, found my favorites, and made drabbles of them.**

**Review if you want me to continue!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary: Drabbles based on things I'm not allowed to do at Hogwarts. Mostly centered around the Marauders time but some will be from different eras. In no order.**

**Warning: Crack. Pure Crack. Some ooc's. no definite pairing unless your mind wants to perceive it as such. Un-beta'd**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor the rules list.**

15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

Remus tugged his coat closer to his body as the bitter cold cut through him. His mother had demanded him write a letter to her every month, and while he loved his mother dearly, it was quite a bother trudging through the snow to the owlry. Thrice already, he nearly slipped on rogue patches of ice.

As he neared the owlry, he heard familiar soft giggling. Remus sighed. He did not want to get involved in yet another one of Sirius' antics but he really needed to send this letter or else his mother would have a fit. So, inhaling deeply, Remus entered the owlry on his guard.

Colours. A plethora of colours was the first thing he saw. Flying this way and that, owls painted in a variety of hues littered the small building. Instead of the usual brown, white, grays, Remus saw Pink, purple, blue, hundreds of unusually coloured owls.

And crouching in the corner, giggling like the mad man he is, was one Sirius Black. In one hand, he held a struggling owl while in the other, had his wand pointed at said owl. Sirius muttered a spell and the owl changed colours from a nice, normal brown to magenta and yellow.

"Sirius, Why are all the owls tye-dyed?" Sirius looked up at his wary werewolf (hehe wary werewolf…) friend with gleeful eyes. He held up the owl he was holding- which Remus now recognized as James' beloved owl, Roxanne- and replied,

"They, my friend, are going to help me."

"With what?" Remus asked skeptically. Sirius threw Roxanne up into the air, who screeched loudly at the abuse, and lunged toward Remus in a big hug.

"They are going to help me spread the love!" He exclaimed exuberantly.

"…" Remus had no words to give his friend. Actually, he wondered why they were friends at all. But as his friend looked up at him with wide, happy eyes, he thought that maybe, it didn't matter.

**A/N: WHEW! Second one done! This one is sort of mushy. I couldn't help it! And I know it's short but I never said they would be long.**

**Review!**


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